[A disaster? Excuse you. Kamui has never once failed to do his job. Just so long as he has subordinates around whom he can bully into doing all the parts he doesn't enjoy.
Dry lips pucker into a pout.]
I wouldn't have volunteered to do your dirty work if I knew you'd be so tedious. Hiding out in the woods sucks half the fun out of it.
[Oh... one of those... Minato doesn't react to the words, or how Kamui wipes his hands on his shirt, even though a normal person would...? He just blinks blankly.
Thanks, Minato.]
... Anyway. [Anyway.] Can you help me figure out how to do this? I have no idea, honestly.
[It's his only life skill, not reacting to things any sane person would.
So he's just digging into his pocket to grab a pocket knife, a bit battered and clearly having been cleaned up from this place. He's found that more often than not, it's handy to have on hand these days.]
Here you go.
[But also, cutting a corpse open... he's not squeamish, but also: ew.]
Yeah. It'd be way too messy if I did it with my hands.
[That's... That's not what Minato's referring to.
Nonetheless, Kamui hums to himself before rolling the wolf onto its side and promptly decapitating it. He follows this by slicing open its underbelly from severed neck to tail. Though Kamui seems to know what he's doing and isn't bothered by it at all, Minato may note that he doesn't revel in it. In Kamui's eyes, this - unlike an actual fight - isn't exciting. It's a means to an end.]
[That is not at all what Minato was referring to, but he falls silent anyway. The way Kamui does this is so... straightforward, as if it's that easy. Step by step, and suddenly it's decapitated, suddenly it's sliced open.
It's something he thinks he'll never get used to, even if he doesn't look away. How does anyone get used to something like this...?
Still, even if this guy is skilled at it...he at least doesn't seem like the sort of psycho who enjoys it. That counts for something, right...?]
If I couldn't even gut a stationary target, there's no way I could gut a moving one.
[Okay, so maybe still a psycho. Just not one who enjoys slicing up dead things.
The smell grows ever more pungent as he peels away the hide to reveal muscle and bone. This is where things start to get irredeemably gross, as he even strips the hide from around the wolf's limbs until its skin is nothing more than a blanket for its meat to rest on.]
Besides, I've had to catch my own meals since I got here.
[... Yeah, okay, maybe still a psycho. Why is he gutting moving targets... Kamui why...
This is also really, really disgusting, and Minato's flat expression grows just that little bit flatter as the hide is peeled away, as if it's that easy.
(He knows it's not that easy, because he's fumbled his way through catching animals, too, before he decided to stick with fish.)]
I guess that's true... most of us fumble through this sort of thing, so I was surprised.
[Seeing someone handle it like it's the easiest thing in the world is kind of astonishing.]
Hmmm? Then why don't you take back that handy knife of yours and try cutting the meat off one of these leg bones.
[Though his chosen syntax is that of a question, his tone is more demanding than anything else. He's got his hands full with a very disgusting lower intestine, and he doesn't feel like being patient.]
[It is not a question, and so while Minato looks very, very uncertain about this, he quietly takes back the bloody knife, frowning a little at the feeling of holding it in his hand, and reaches out for that leg bone.
Why... is this happening... suddenly, going along with this doesn't sound so great.
But he's going to try anyway, because saying "no" doesn't seem to cross his mind either; he grabs the bone firmly and starts trying to cut the muscles and tendons right off. He doesn't have anything near Kamui's well-practiced movements here, so it's going to take a bit, but he's at least...trying.
Unhappy, but he is, expression a little grossed out despite himself.]
[Kamui finishes with the organs as Minato tries his best to cut down to the bone. He hums, either pleased or amused that Minato still isn't refusing him.
Then again, he hadn't refused Minato either. Better fertilizer means better food, after all. He'll gladly do this much for the sake of his stomach.
[A bloody, disgusting onion. But he sets his jaw and takes the knife and tries again, putting a bit more muscle into it. He's scrawny, but he's more athletic than he looks; putting the effort into it, he's able to peel more of the muscle and meat from the bone.
He's also like.
Regretting this a lot, but there's no backing down now.]
He supposes that's a title he deserves for being so squeamish, but still...]
... Thanks for handling it. I'll get the fire started.
[That's a skill he's picked up since coming here, at least; he can pretty competently get the wood stacked and start up a fire, lips pressed together at the lingering blood on his hands.
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Still, weapons and fertilizer...]
I had no idea...
[Huh...!]
Do you think we should try that with this wolf's bones? [This is a "we" thing now.]
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They're definitely stronger than regular wolves. Wasting that by dumping it in some grave would be stupid.
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[This can only be a disaster.]
We should probably still bring it to the edge of the woods, though. [So they don't gross people out.]
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Dry lips pucker into a pout.]
I wouldn't have volunteered to do your dirty work if I knew you'd be so tedious. Hiding out in the woods sucks half the fun out of it.
[And yet, he's still trudging along.]
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The fun out of it... [HM...]
Mostly, I just don't want to bother anyone while we're trying to deal with wolf bones. [He's already accepted he's going to be bad at this.]
But I think this area seems okay.
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[At least he's honest.
When Minato deigns their current location "okay", Kamui drops the corpse unceremoniously to the dirt. Then he wipes his hand on Minato's shirt.]
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Thanks, Minato.]
... Anyway. [Anyway.] Can you help me figure out how to do this? I have no idea, honestly.
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Oh well.
He crouches down next to the fallen wolf and pokes at its hide.]
Well, first we have to cut it open. Got a knife?
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So he's just digging into his pocket to grab a pocket knife, a bit battered and clearly having been cleaned up from this place. He's found that more often than not, it's handy to have on hand these days.]
Here you go.
[But also, cutting a corpse open... he's not squeamish, but also: ew.]
... Are you sure about this?
cw: gutting an animal
[That's... That's not what Minato's referring to.
Nonetheless, Kamui hums to himself before rolling the wolf onto its side and promptly decapitating it. He follows this by slicing open its underbelly from severed neck to tail. Though Kamui seems to know what he's doing and isn't bothered by it at all, Minato may note that he doesn't revel in it. In Kamui's eyes, this - unlike an actual fight - isn't exciting. It's a means to an end.]
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It's something he thinks he'll never get used to, even if he doesn't look away. How does anyone get used to something like this...?
Still, even if this guy is skilled at it...he at least doesn't seem like the sort of psycho who enjoys it. That counts for something, right...?]
You're...pretty good at this.
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[Okay, so maybe still a psycho. Just not one who enjoys slicing up dead things.
The smell grows ever more pungent as he peels away the hide to reveal muscle and bone. This is where things start to get irredeemably gross, as he even strips the hide from around the wolf's limbs until its skin is nothing more than a blanket for its meat to rest on.]
Besides, I've had to catch my own meals since I got here.
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This is also really, really disgusting, and Minato's flat expression grows just that little bit flatter as the hide is peeled away, as if it's that easy.
(He knows it's not that easy, because he's fumbled his way through catching animals, too, before he decided to stick with fish.)]
I guess that's true... most of us fumble through this sort of thing, so I was surprised.
[Seeing someone handle it like it's the easiest thing in the world is kind of astonishing.]
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[Which, surprisingly, implies there was once a time when it did bother him. That was a very, very long time ago.
Next comes the slicing of muscle tissue to reveal the organs hiding within. Kamui unceremoniously begins dumping them out onto the hide.]
I thought you would have turned away by now~
[He teases, just because he's not being enough of a jackass right now apparently.]
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[Minato would be lying if he said he didn't want to. This is disgusting (organs..... oh no...), but it's not the worst thing he's ever seen, and...]
I asked you to help me. I think it'd be pretty rude of me to turn away since you're doing so much of the work.
[The least he can do is watch and try to learn, right?]
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[Though his chosen syntax is that of a question, his tone is more demanding than anything else. He's got his hands full with a very disgusting lower intestine, and he doesn't feel like being patient.]
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Why... is this happening... suddenly, going along with this doesn't sound so great.
But he's going to try anyway, because saying "no" doesn't seem to cross his mind either; he grabs the bone firmly and starts trying to cut the muscles and tendons right off. He doesn't have anything near Kamui's well-practiced movements here, so it's going to take a bit, but he's at least...trying.
Unhappy, but he is, expression a little grossed out despite himself.]
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Then again, he hadn't refused Minato either. Better fertilizer means better food, after all. He'll gladly do this much for the sake of his stomach.
He wipes his hands on the wolf's hide.]
How's it feel?
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It's... really gross...
[He is a poor city boy who was not made for this, though his expression is still relatively level despite all of this.]
Is this right? Like this? [The way he's managed to cut it off--he'll ask Kamui for his assessment there.]
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Put more force into it. You're too hesitant. Just think of it as an onion, and peel away the layers.
[Werewolf meat, onion. It's all food to him.]
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[A bloody, disgusting onion. But he sets his jaw and takes the knife and tries again, putting a bit more muscle into it. He's scrawny, but he's more athletic than he looks; putting the effort into it, he's able to peel more of the muscle and meat from the bone.
He's also like.
Regretting this a lot, but there's no backing down now.]
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[As if Minato is ever going to do this again. But Kamui remains willfully oblivious to the poor guy's suffering.
Now that his hands are semi-clean, he pushes himself back to his feet and surveys the edge of the forest for dry wood.]
Keep that up. I'll start the fire.
[If Minato wants to switch jobs, now is the time. Before Kamui walks off.]
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Um, yeah, that's--]
Er-- is it okay if I start the fire instead...?
[Please save him, he does not want to do this for another period of time, even if it's just five more minutes..]
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Sure. I'll be faster than you anyway.
[His lips turn up in a sneaky smile.]
You did try, little mousy.
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He supposes that's a title he deserves for being so squeamish, but still...]
... Thanks for handling it. I'll get the fire started.
[That's a skill he's picked up since coming here, at least; he can pretty competently get the wood stacked and start up a fire, lips pressed together at the lingering blood on his hands.
Ick...]
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